"Drinks tonight? – 24"

Date: 2007-03-23, 1:59PM EDT

Greetings,

I’m a 24 year old guy, fairly new to Miami, who is looking for a girl younger than 30 to grab some drinks with tonight. My experience thus far in Miami has been pretty disappointing. I find it difficult to meet normal, intelligent, laid back people my age. Some of the amazingly beautiful girls of Miami must have personality too, right? Simple law of averages. Unfortunately, everything about the city, from the cars people drive, to the clothes they wear and the places they eat, is about status symbols. So many people here are rude, vain and entirely absorbed in looking like a bigshot. Doesn’t anyone else realize this, I feel like I’m taking crazy pills!?!

I’m intelligent, athletic and successful; it would certainly be nice to find someone who is the same. But honestly, I would settle for someone that can hold a conversation. So feel free to send along a picture and a little bit about yourself. I posted an ad before and met one really cool person, I’m sure there are others.

Cheers

***** ***** *****
Response:

Welcome to Miami

I saw your post on Craigslist. I’m not looking for anyone/anything… When I get bored I sometimes look at the listings to improve my self esteem. [I mean, really -- just look at 90% of the listings!! haha]

Anyway, I agree with you. Miami sucks when it comes to finding down to earth people. I’ve been living here for a long time, and I thought I was crazy, too. But I moved away for about a year and realized just how screwed up it is here.

Good luck finding someone worth your time to have a drink with. Don’t settle for less than you think you truly deserve… and don’t stay in Miami too long. None of the good people do.

"i can clean up after myself and do laundry!!! – 25"

Date: 2007-03-24, 1:42AM EDT

Hello…

I am looking to meet some new people and have a good time in life. Nothing too serious, unless the tides turn that way (i will call that chemistry). I am 25, 5′10″, 160lbs,shaved brown hair, and brown eyes. I have am honest and have a good head on my shoulders. I am tired of the club and bar scene. I don’t smoke and I seldom drink. I am very easy going and like to relax and enjoy life. I can clean up after myself, do laundry (and fold it), iron, and wash the dishes. I am a pretty bad cook, but you can’t really mess up pasta so we will be eating it often.

If you want a picture of me, just ask.

***** ***** *****
Response:

Hi,

I don’t know if you’ve gotten any responses to your post yet, but after seeing it here are some things I wanted to tell you. This is what I *honestly* thought when I read your post:

- Your title makes you sound lamer than you probably are. “i can clean up after myself and do laundry!!! – 25″ The kind of girl you probably want won’t think this is an admirable quality… she will EXPECT that you do that! You’re 25! You’re SUPPOSED to clean up after yourself and wash your own clothes!!

- You’re a pretty bad cook, and that’s okay. So am I. But don’t tell me I’ll be eating pasta all the time…. ugh! Try mentioning that you’re willing to learn, or experiment… That holds a lot more appeal than images of multiple bowls of Ragu and spaghetti. Then it opens up the floor for her to teach you what she knows.

- Make sure you proof read next time [you posted "I have am honest and have a good head on my shoulders..."].

Otherwise, you sound like a nice guy, and this was a really decent post. Good luck finding someone!

***** ***** *****
His Reply:

Sent: Monday, March 26, 2007 1:53 AM

Hello there…

I am very much impressed. Your probably the first respectable women that I have come across on craigslist. So, why are you fishing in that pond anyways? You are obviously the intelligent and witty, will light a fire under someone’s ass kind of girl. Women like you shouldn’t have a problem finding a guy, but then again the world is pretty shallow. I just wonder…

Here she comes to save the day!

It’s no secret that I’m a Facebook and MySpace addict. I frequently call myself a MySpace whore, but that’s inaccurate… even though I do feel dirty when I’m finished… but I digress.

I picked up another dirty habit, and in a sick way, I kinda hope this takes over from Facebook and MySpace. I look at this as doing the community a service. It started out purely selfishly — I’d browse Craigslist personals. Men seeking women seem to put the stupidest things, and somehow, reading it, made me feel better about myself. Like, seeing some grimey 50 year-old man looking for a dirty latina girl 30 years younger than him made me feel… grateful not to be in his e-mail address book.

Tonight I realized that rather than waste my intelligence on MySpace/Facebook, I’m going to dispense it abundantly on Craigslist. I’ll create a dumby hotmail account, and respond to some of these sad posts, not to take them up on their offer, but to point out why the nice girls like me would rather sit at home and laugh at them. My goal is to help them out. But if that fails, I’ll still have a good laugh… muhahaha.

Ben

This is Ben.

I love Ben.

Hi Ben.

Oh Ben, you’re such a badass.

major improvements

I realize the trick to making a good blog great is posting pictures. So here’s a monkey on a chair.

List: Things to hate about South Florida

1. The rain… wait, it stopped… oh no, it’s raining again… I think… ?

2. Fashionistas / emo-fashionistas / post-modern-punk-rock-divalicious-emo-fashionistas

3. Everything is a half-hour or more drive away *if* there’s no traffic

4. Traffic

5. not being able to speak Spanish or Spanglish