It’s been too long.

About a year ago I embarked on a life changing journey. I moved far away with hardly a reason or a clue. I felt it was the best decision of my life because I learned so much about myself. I learned how to be mature and how to be a kid. I like me a little more. I also decided that art imitates life. I realised that certain patterns repeat themselves in my life, but what makes all the difference is how I deal with it. My closest girlfriend always tells me that you can’t control how you feel, but you have total control over how you react… and that’s what makes the difference.

I haven’t been journaling as much as I used to. It’s almost like when things are going “well” in life, writing about it seems less important. When things suck, everyone knows, and there are 20 pages of angry scribbles to document it. This has been going on for years. That damn journal is filled with curses against people I once claimed to love. Reading it alone and never speaking with me, one would figure I’m psycho. Of course, meeting me, people still think I’m psycho.

It was a good year. Everything “bad” that happened, I look at as a “glass half full” experience, and tried to learn from it. The car accident, the failed attempt at a mock pilot for a travel show, and 2 rejections from wonderful people I respect and admire.

[Originally written on Aug 13, 2006... but I didn't complete it... ]

Another poem about another guy who stopped calling and deleted me from his social networking list

It’s been a while since I’ve done this
stayed up all night thinking
online wasting time
but thank God I’m not drinking

I’m sure I had nothing more to say
the last time I had the desire to speak to you
but now I’m fighting back tears
and stupid rhyming words is the best I can do

There are questions I don’t want answered
fears I don’t want to face
dreams of mine you cut short
I still just wanna leave this place

I wanted to run into you
but it’s like you turned your back
i’m so effin p’d off right now
this is all so effin wack

ack