The Grass is Greener in My Mind

Everyone has their own issues with their wants and their shortcomings. Although I learned, understood, and *believed* the concept of eliminating wants and desires in order to achieve happiness, I still managed to fk it up (I *always* manage to fk it up – insert eye roll here –> ).

I just couldn’t shake the idea that if I just had “X”, I’d be happy (pun intended there). Everything turned into this long drawn out episode of the grass being greener on the other side of my life: the grass looks greener after this job is over; the grass looks so green if he and I were together again; the grass looks soooooooo green if I was on a beach in Fiji with nothing to do but drink coconut water and sun bathe. And eat escoveitched fish with lots of scotch bonnet pepper; the grass starts lookin very green if I was to host my own show, preferably dealing with travelling.

Simply put, I have GIG syndrome (Grass Is Greener…). And for my own safety, I have to restrain myself and liberate myself from these thoughts. One day I’ll have to start believing that I am enough. And charged with positive energy.

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The other day, a friend of mine said something profound. In return I said something even more profound. Okay, so it wasn’t all that profound, but I surprised myself to say it. No pre-meditation… just flow.

She was relating her experience with relationships.

“Everyone loves different,” she said. “I used to want to be loved the same way… get the same openness, the same honesty that I gave in return… only to learn we all have different ways of expressing the same thing. We all love maybe the same amount, maybe more, maybe less, but we all show it differently.”

That was her profound statement.

And I agreed with her.

I said, “It’s a shame that that expectation is a mistake. I always thought it was ‘fair’, but there is no definition of fairness…. when everyone has a different definition of the game altogether.”

It seemed ultra profound the moment I said it. I guess it lost a bit of gloss while I was over buffing it. But it makes sense, right? And it ties into my “GIG” theory about fabricating great expectations. Ultimately… you’ll only set yourself up for disappointment. And you’ll want to blame, and finger point…

To me, the solution became clearer. Place your faith and expectations in yourself — don’t allow yourself to get ugly at someone else’s expense. Eliminate external/excessive wants/desires by fulfilling yourself. Allow your joy to spring forth from within… and use that inner positivity as fertilizer for (to nuture) your spirit. Live in the present, live in the moment, live for yourself. The greatness will follow.

And the grass on your side will be greenest.

~*Flourish*~

[Exit USR.]